The Unexpected Element of Surprise

I am not a fan of surprises. If you drop even a hint of a surprise, I will bug you until you cave and tell me what is in the works. I love the anticipation of what is coming, but I can’t get past the scared feeling that comes with not knowing exactly how things are going to work out.

Are you with me?

If you are, you know what it is like to hear the words, “I’ve got a surprise for you!” as the on switch for a focused mind. You begin to look around with concern, think through your last two weeks of conversation, recall the calendar in your mind wondering if any important dates have passed or are coming that you missed. You suddenly can’t think of anything you are doing and all your thoughts turn to what is about to happen.

If you are a lover of surprise, I imagine you have a similar brain shift. You, too, become all consumed with what is about to happen, but you welcome it. Your excitement turns up, and you wonder what you did to earn it, who will be with you, what is going to happen, and how late you will be up. You attune to all the fun headed your way.

Whether you are a surprise lover or hater, the unexpected nature of a surprise turns on our minds.

Surprise haters, the fear of the unknown often keeps us from seeing the good that is coming. Surprise lovers, the anticipation ignites expectation, which often opens the door for disappointment. All of us need to remember the good things about a surprise:

• A surprise is a reminder that someone had YOU on their mind. Someone thought of you! Not only did they think of you, but they took action intended just for you.
• Joy comes with every surprise. Even the heart-stopping, unexpected surprises come with good things. Whether the joy is in the moment or the days and weeks after the moment of surprise, there is always joy in it.
• Surprises remind us we are not in control. You can’t plan, direct, or be involved in a surprise and have control over it. It’s one of life’s circumstances that you must simply flow with the moment. That might be a challenge, but let it be a reminder that you are not in control and you don’t need to be.

Can you imagine the surprise when the Apostles heard Paul had encountered Jesus and wanted to preach the Gospel? In fact, in Acts 9:26-27 we see how this played out:

              ²⁶ When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. ²⁷ But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus.

The unexpected surprise of Paul’s conversion caught the disciples so off guard the didn’t believe it. They had to put into practice the fact that they were not in control. And Barnabas took action on Paul’s behalf.

Think of all the joy brought about as a result of this surprise. Because of Paul, the Gospel spread through the land, and even to us today through his words.

So, to my anti-surprise friends, let go of your fears and embrace the idea that someone loves you enough to do something because of who you are. And to my super-surprise stars, embrace every moment of laughter and joy without letting disappointment stick its toe in the door.

Surprises are little gifts. Embrace them. Don’t miss a moment of the goodness they bring!

(Science believes we need more surprise in our life! Read more about the science behind surprise here!)